This leaked today from inside webmd, the most bullshit corpo HR video I think I’ve ever seen.

To break down the obvious ones:

  • Employees who are obviously either drinking wayyy too much company koolaid or who know that their jobs will end if they aren’t in this video
  • An extremely out of touch CEO who wants things back the old way without giving any concrete data proving that it’s better beyond conjecture
  • A company with “internet” in the name who literally doesn’t understand the concept of the internet
  • Threatening and bullying language to force people back in office.
  • and just a nice touch, the office is of course not near mass transit or anything and requires driving in
  • Did anyone notice they were all on green screen, kinda proving that there was no need for them to be in person?
    • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yup! If it’s that important, why doesn’t your company pay for everyone to drive to and from work (covering gas, car repairs, and allowing employees to clock in when they start their commute.)Also, pay for everyone’s lunch since they have to be there.

  • Alien Nathan Edward@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    in 2021 my job was “informing, not asking”. a bunch of us walked, and it crippled the OU. They actually shut it down not long ago, they decided to keep a skeleton crew on to keep the app running while the contracts run out, then they’re gonna sunset it

    • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      lmao gg. The absolute disrespect to even say “informing, not asking” unironically. Pretty sure these people see us as slaves at some level.

      • CoggyMcFee@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Honestly, if they said only that part in a memo, it would still obviously be very bad but it would be so much better than embedding it within this video. If I were an employee watching this, when they reached the part where they play Iko Iko while people dance after the CEO delivered the ultimatum, I’d want to shoot myself in the fucking head.

        • PastyWaterSnake@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Of course, you have freedom of choice. You can choose between eating a shit sandwich or a tube of tile grout compound.

          • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            They won’t admit it of course, but to save on raw material costs, since 2011 the tile grout has been actually harvested from truck stop restrooms.

  • Someonelemmy@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    " Internet Brands did not respond to a request for comment, except to say that people were busy with meetings. "

    Lololololol

    Fuck them. It sounds like they’re too bust having meetings instead of getting work done.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Close-quartered offices are disease farms. Stress lowers your immune system.

    WebMD wants to make its workers unhealthy.

    • CoriolisSTORM88@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yes they are. As I am at home with COVID for the 4th time. I interviewed a guy in a small room a week ago Friday, and he coughed all through the interview. I was masked. He wasn’t. Two of us caught it. And I found out today they hired the clown. There are strong desires to cuss him out on his first day. Fuck that guy.

  • doctortofu@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    This will definitely push all accounting, data entry and other such office workers to the heights of creativity and inventiveness - just what they need! /s

    • M500@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      If they get to stay home then why can’t I?!?

      That’s really it’s about.

      The only people that should be in the office are people who literally need to be there.

      Like if there are physical servers and they need to be physically configured then sure the tech can go in for that.

      If it’s a repair show, then sure the tech has to come in to do the repair.

      Otherwise let people stay home.

        • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          They do it because they invested in the property and want to make it worth their while. Now they can enforce some stupid productivity policies while you are there.

          • Chefdano3@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            You’re forgetting the part where they can shift the blame of the company is tanking as the fault of " lazy workers who won’t RTO" instead of their terrible management, to convince shareholders not to get rid of them

            • Mirshe@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Or, “we’re raking in record profits but we need to make the line go SLIGHTLY more up for the shareholders, so we’re telling you to RTO in the hopes that enough of you will leave so we don’t have to do layoffs”. Layoffs look bad to shareholders, but masses of people quitting? Meh, it happens now.

        • melisdrawing@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Same with the ‘getting better ideas in person’ bit. He means he can’t take credit for others’ work if everything is documented.

      • doctortofu@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        Oh I emphatically agree - I have a fully remote job and not even doubling my salary would make me consider switching to an office one. I was just clumsily trying to point out that a lot of corporate positions don’t require all that creativity and collaboration bullshit that clueless executives love to throw around in videos like this one.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I have a fully remote job and not even doubling my salary would make me consider switching to an office one.

          The funny thing is that if the corporate masters every figured out that they could retain employees who were tempted by higher salaries just by keeping them comfortable, they still wouldn’t do it.

    • dubyakay@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      So what’s the strat here? Stay employed but do not go to office until you are lid off and then lawyer up?

      Edit: spelling

      • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        That will depend on state employment laws and the contracts they have.

        So who knows, here in Europe in my country if you are an employee then the employer determines where you work from, contractors are independent they can work from where they want.

  • ray@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    The most surprising thing I learned from this video is that WebMD still exists

    • Chetzemoka@startrek.website
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      1 year ago

      The best thing to happen from WebMD is we got a bunch of actual medical providers like Mayo Clinic, University of Maryland, Merck Manual that went, “GAH! No!!” and made actually informative, updated medical websites.

      Healthline, kids. Healthline is where we go for our medical information.

  • arglebargle@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Kind of balsy for a software company that is basically running a web page to replace office visits with a doctor…

  • Bipta@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Everyone is so desperate to kill their workers, and then they’ll say, “Nobody wants to work anymore.”

  • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “informing, not asking”

    To any employees out there, don’t be someone else’s biotch.

    Demand for workers is at one of its highest points right now.

    There are other jobs out there, but you only have one respect for yourself.

    (The above is said assuming that the company is not trying to just shed employees. If that is the case, then stay and give them hell. Only you can determine the state of the company you’re working at, financially.)

  • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “We’ve invested heavily in our cooperate headquarters and if people realize that offices are unnecessary in the modern workplace we’ll lose millions.”