Labels exist to describe what is. You don’t need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn’t apologize for it.

Like for me, I’m attracted to the late Andre Braugher portraying the gay man Captain Holt on Brooklyn 99 when he’s pretending to be straight and describing his fictitious partner’s heavy breasts. Nothing sexier than that, but the brain trust at Oxford hasn’t come up with a word for that one yet.

Be direct and honest. “Hey, buddy, I want to hear what you have to say, but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now.” Kids learn from the example you provide, and expressing your feelings in a positive and honest way is how he’s going to learn to do the same.

I would also suggest you put that energy to good use. Kids enjoy feeling helpful and a part of the process. If he’s rambling on, you don’t need to send him away. He’s just excited to share with you. Maybe ask if he wants to color with you while you talk, or ask if he just wants to sit with you a while. Maybe he’ll get bored and run off to do something else, or he’ll sit with you and just enjoy the peaceful moments. Either way, it’s his decision to respect your boundary, creating a healthy relationship.

If, on the other hand, he doesn’t respect your boundary, eg you ask him for a moment and he just keeps talking over you, it’s not impolite to ask him to pay attention to your request and respond. You’re not his parent, so you’re not responsible for discipline or manners, but it’s helpful to a child if you explain to him how he’s making you feel. “It doesn’t seem like you heard me. I said I am feeling overwhelmed, and I need a few quiet minutes to myself. Can you respect that?”

Try to say that as calmly as possible. Don’t make it about him, but tell him directly what you expect him to do.

I believe a majority of Americans are too disconnected from the process and from history to understand why calling someone a king is bad. It’s simply not a message that resonates with most Americans. The fact that Trump and his supporters will turn it into lube for jerking off is just further proof it’s not the right message, and the fact that you don’t care what he or they think is further proof how far out of your depth you are in this fight. You still think you can win by making the better argument and gathering a larger group of supporters.

And you’re not going to reach them by stroking his ego and chasing his laser pointer around.

Dictator. Criminal. Lotta words that are far more accurate.

I’m not saying the analogy isn’t apt. I’m saying a narcissist doesn’t care about things like perception or truth, and his followers won’t, either.

I really think this is the wrong framing for progressives. You’re protesting a narcissist troll with an ego so massive it affects the passage of time. He’s not styling himself as a king, so he can plausibly reject the concept on its face, and he probably enjoys the warm, itchy feeling it creates in his butt thinking about all the people calling him a king. So he gets to wriggle in his chair with a wry smile and say “I never said ‘King Trump’, but you go ahead.” His supporters will revel in your frustration, because they know you’re not willing to match their level of chaos.

You’re dealing with a narcissist. There’s no shame or logic or reasoning that will convince him or his followers to abandon their power. We need to take it from them.

It is a bit insane, because the world is a bit insane right now, and frankly I think it’s your fault.

Well, not you specifically, and it’s not entirely your fault. But part of the reason tyranny and fascism have gripped power across the globe is that political discussion is considered impolite. It’s offensive to point out how absurd or dangerous a political policy is, so we just avoid the subject. Wouldn’t want to offend a conservative bigot by pointing out other people exist.

And because polite people avoid the subject, only extremists engage in the debate. Nuance is lost, and the crazies take charge of the nuthouse whilst “normal” people, like yourself, fret about people talking about the problem.

It would be fucking fantastic to look at a picture of the sky and not think of how air pollution is being deregulated, how Qatar is buying influence with the President by gifting him an airplane, how space is being monetized by a South African Nazi, or how we’re all likely to die of an airborne virus because the person in charge of coordinating our healthcare response has a brain that’s mostly worm poo.

It would be wonderful to stop talking about politics, but not talking about it has led us, inexorably, to this point. We have a duty to discuss ideas when they affect all of us. We have a responsibility to point out stupidity and ignorance and make conservatives feel ashamed of it. It’s not fun for us, either, but if we were to follow your lead, we will end up murdering children in death camps. Which is exactly where we are.

It really is tough to talk about anything else, and even when you do talk about it, it’s more of an exasperated sigh than a conversation.

Until you confirm that you have a working backup, your backup is theoretical.

Except that axe swings both ways. Calling out a false equivalence is often perceived as an attempt to justify the “lesser” offense.

Hamas has engaged in terrorism. Israel has engaged in genocide. The former does not in any way justify the latter, AND acknowledging that the latter is not justified is not an attempt to ignore the former.

Political pundits will try to say “Look, this one lie told by the western media means that everything you’ve heard about the situation is a lie.” This is its own sort of dishonesty that undercuts the legitimacy of the criticism.

Right, that’s what the headline conveys, and it’s still not how anything works.

It would be like saying “We want to encourage people to make ice cream, so we’re going to use thumb tacks. We’re still pretty vague on the ‘how’ but probably something like putting thumbtacks on the chairs of people who are making something that isn’t ice cream.”

That’s not how anything works.

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Have you checked to make sure that the universe is not a hyper realistic simulation and you are every person in it?

They are, for better or worse. Kids learn to be people from the people around them. The only situation where your parents aren’t role models is when they aren’t around you, and that’s a sort of role model in its own way.

Kids also learn from their peers, their mentors, their heroes, etc, so it’s not like kids of shitty people are completely fucked.

While you are correct, the only people using “woke” anymore are using it as an insult, meaning “not a bigot like me.”

I’m going to pronounce it “agilé” at the next stand up and see who corrects me.

It’s one thing to know it happens, and it’s an entirely different thing to hear it happening live and in real time.

I moved into an apartment with my girlfriend (and her roommate) after being together only a year, and we’re married now. We weren’t much older than you are now (22 and 21). The concerning part is the rest of the family.

You’ve answered a lot of questions, so don’t feel the need to respond to these, but you should know the answers for yourself.

Would you share a bed? Will you be able to hear her parents getting frisky? Because then they will be able to hear you. What if you have to take an epic shit, but her mom has just called everyone down to dinner? What if you go to take a shower and her father has clogged the drain with hair?

What is your alternative plan if you don’t move in with them?

Sharing a roof means intimacy with everyone in the building. There’s very little privacy, and escape is complicated. If you see her as a forever partner, and don’t mind making yourself vulnerable to her family, then actually I probably still wouldn’t do it even under those circumstances.