*Edit: JFC, I’ve been physically ill at the thought that I was just trying to justify choosing something that was just shitty behavior. I haven’t even been all that comfortable talking to my therapist about it as much as I’ve needed to. And reading every single response (so far)… well i’m in literal tears over the relief I feel not being alone in thought. Thank you. *
To clarify, they want me to use the money to buy a duplex / other property for me take care of (for the entire place) and to renovate and to live in, while renting out the other unit/room/whathaveyou so that I don’t have to worry about property taxes or the basic necessities of life.
(feel free to ignore this paragraph explaining my anxities and ignorance)The entire topic of inheritance and the circumstances leading to one has caused several of my worst panic attacks when it has been brought up in the past. (Bad enough to require medication assistance to regulate) And thankfully, this family member was aware and stopped bringing it up as they were in the habit of doing. Over the last 2 years I’ve come a long way with my issue and getting help fortunately, which has proven to be useful in this context recently. Their health recently took a scary decline, I’ve been able to regulate myself in the discussions that have followed, within reason.
I haven’t yet been capable of asking the specifics on how much money it will be, or if there will be any trusts or whatever etc. And honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to in the near future. But the way they talk about it, it sounds as though it will be enough to at (at least almost) pay for a small duplex type of situation.
I’m currently unhoused, and have been for over a year, so there is no love of capitalism in me, much less any desire to “be a landlord”. I feel very ethically convicted against becoming what I think of when I think of Landlords, even one of those local 2-3 property owning ones.
Unfortunately I feel that clashing with the rest of values surrounding honoring the wishes of what is currently my last surviving relative (who I still remain in contact with and love dearly). Not to mention whatever might be a part of any legal stuff pertaining to her will. (which I know hardly anything about and still makes me panicked just typing about)
My main question:
Is it ethical to own a property that I live in, provide the standard maintenance for, and work on renovating… and also rent out part of it?
I value my ethics, and part of that has always been assessing the nuances thoughtfully. When I think about the specifics of this, I find difficulty in framing that situation as the role of a landlord. Landlord being defined, at least the way I think about what a landlord is / the way other people use it.
My followup question:
Is anyone who is paid money that is for sure another person’s “rent money” considered a landlord, regardless of it being the only property they own? Even if they also live there?
*Edit 2: for only those in such a position, I have no shame sharing this link since the 1st time was many months ago https://gofund.me/9bd76285 *
It sounds like he’s not being given a house, but cash that the donor intends OP should use to buy a house.
To me, this sounds like a combination of “you’re going to inherit significant money” and “here’s a strategy to survive on it long-term.” If OP’s family member has made their life as a landlord, then that’s just them passing on their own experience. OP is unhoused, and it’s reasonable to imagine their family member distrusts OP’s financial awareness.
The inheritance may or may not specify how the money is to be used. If OP just gets some lump sum of money, then there’s the financial question of how to extract the greatest quality of life from that money and each strategy has its own ethical question. Would it ethical to buy two homes - even if they’re the same physical building - and rent one out to pay for both? Plus OP’s living expenses? Would it be ethical to invest it all in United Healthcare and live off the dividends? To open a restaurant?
If OP gets a lump sum, there is also the ethical question of whether they are bound to use it in the fashion recommended by their family member.
I’ve had some time to step away, but I do want to address a certain aspect of your comment.
Setting aside your egregious assumptions about irrelevant discussion, your response reads to me 1 of 2 ways:
You are not very practiced in regular every day communication, and did not understand the discussion and its nuanced and specific nature. And you just jumped the shark, and skipped right on to debating(why?) the general themes of being a multi property company/landlord.
Or you felt the need to toss around your own life’s experience as both relevant (it wasn’t) or morally superior to a total stranger’s. If you need that, then you have my blessing to see it that way, doesn’t bother me.
Now, bringing back the assumptions that are so fucking telling of your privilege in life.
-My family member has never been a landlord and owns 1 home.
-I’m unhoused because I had the misfortune of coming out as trans to my disabled family member I had been helping take care of for 5 years and had been living with, and in the same week was let go along with 95% of the company because of a buyout. The lack of stability I’d counted on to push through the initial problems I knew would happen meant I had to still move out just without any income.
-my financial literacy is far below where I wish it were, but considering that I got to start out adulthood with my credit score already having been wrecked by my abusive guardians I barely made it away from, I’m doing pretty fucking well considering.
You need to read more, and keep your thoughts internal until you get used to speaking to people in real life. If this thread was a conversation in real life, everyone would have already walked off. JFC