Has been in earnest since about 2014 by my watch

You’re right. Narcissists are generally very concerned with what other people think - specifically about them.

A few thoughts:

• As others have said comparison is the thief of joy. It’s also not a very useful motivator. Feeling a bit better off than someone else isn’t going to push you to work all night when it’s required. That motivation is going to have to come from an intrinsic place - some well of meaning that has significance for you.

• I’ve had the chance to study a little philosophy in pursuit of my profession and having a foundational system of thought - or several to compare - from which to approach decision making has helped me to determine my path and give meaning to my time alive.

• If you’re trying to do anything difficult, doing it alone is courting failure. Find other people doing similar things and figure out how you can help them out. Equally, if you want to learn something you’ll have a much easier time if you find a teacher.

I think nit picking each others speech is the true cringe redditism