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Biden is president. Things went my way. But let’s imagine that this was how you got lunch.

Hmm, Josh! I want a hamburger!.. okay buddy I promise I’ll bring you a hamburger. I’m just going to be your food delegate in the food acquisition team.

Josh! I want a salad! … and I want a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!. Josh I want an apple! Hey Josh can I get some Doritos crushed in a bowl and mixed with jalapeno and chicken nuggets!

Then Josh goes to the big food acquisition meeting… My team wants a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!

Then you wait half an hour and you get a turkey sandwich but you’re vegan so you eat the three onion rings.

70 percent of the office was vegan too, but only 5 of the food delegates were vegan. The other 20 were old timers that have been ordering the food for the past seven years. They like turkey sandwiches. So you get turkey sandwich.

I hope you enjoy your turkey sandwich 🥪. 😂 LOL. At least it wasn’t a lump of lard with a tupee.

Good thing they have a kid at the front. That way you are relatively protected from accidental crashes.

You actually don’t vote for the president. Our vote is merely a suggestion. So vote freely and with confidence. Which criminal is your preferred president?

Example: we don’t vote for the president or the people who actually elect him. Yet, we are bombarded with ads about which to pick! Why?

Now this is an interesting one. Plus with all the lithium in your system trickling in you’ll be sane the entire time!

This makes sense. I didn’t think of it that deep to realize that.

That’s pretty close to 12 so you know it’s better.

I was changing my car oil and Greta helped me clean up my face when the whole vacuum thing didn’t work out. Thanks Gretta!

When did Greta help you be more green?

There are quite a few usages of PFAS type materials that are extremely important. That said, using that material for applications where it comes in contact with food is a terrible idea unless it’s completely isolated. Also the application should be such that the material is properly disposed.

Oh! 😳 sorry man! We found a family of sea skunks living in that part of the fossilized forest. Plus it’s where they buried Fred. Nah. You’ll have to go dig down in Bolivia.

It could also be really really small. It could also be capable of feeling and thinking.

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As the jingle goes…Pa pa pa pa pa… Coca-Cola…

I heard that India is allowing people to wack moneys over the head real good now. It used to be that you couldn’t hit them little fellers. Not the cows though. You can’t even eat their brain through a small straw like you are told to do to monkeys in some areas of Asia. Regardless, vegans like me can’t get into the action. We just massacred a bag of pistachios and that’s about as far as we go.

putin is still at large. Any chance we can you know 😜…tall building? Maybe 🤔 special taco sauce in his milk tonight? Or an ice bullet? You know, anything would be acceptable. Like if you just accidentally run him over with your Ford Fiesta and then a steam roller just happened to finish the job, that would still be pretty acceptable.

I worked hard to get more details and pile them up in to a nice 💩 pile. Thanks!

On other news, the Sandoval family from equator just opened the first Mexican restaurant in space. It’s not cultural appropriation because reasons. But yeah, it took a good decade of collecting duds from 4rth of July celebrations, candles from McDonald’s quick parties, and aluminum cans from football games. They did loose tio Alberto de la Torre on the glorious flight of Condor1. Rest in piece tio! But after a few more test flights, they got cousin Freddy to try his luck. Freddy made it out of the planet with only two huevos Fritos lost. His huevos were sorely missed, but once he cut them off and got loose, he was able to steer the …what do you call a used UPS truck with a bunch of rockets attached to the back of it? Anyway, Freddy saw the Russian rocket. Okay he says he’s sorry for the minor bump… Well, we’re not sure what he’s saying right now, it’s too far. But we assume that he’s making good burritos right now. According to his current trajectory, he will come back one day. We assume he’s using the Russian parts to fix his radio. Last time he called, we only heard “ahhh!”. He was probably referring to the ruzzian rocket…“ahhh ruzzian rocket”. Anyway my people who aren’t Mexican, why would you even open a Mexican restaurant? Just open a restaurant and call it something unique and interesting. How about “the equator pizzeria” or “El suchi Equaroriano!” But regardless, the ESA…Equayorian Space Agency, has been doing great work no? Soon, Novelas3 will be launching. It will be an SMS satellite 🛰️ that will spam…allow communications to all possible phones about Novelas! Via SMS!

It starts with all ruzzians back in ruzzia out of occupied Ukraine…then putin’s balls deep fried on a platter and putin has to eat them.