They don’t remember. On account of their brain injury.

Probably the reference manual for HR departments everywhere…

If all you bring to the job is looking shit up and telling me yes or no instead of actually trying to help me find solutions, or explaining me what I did wrong, you’re just a glorified robot. You’re in line for replacement and you’ll fucking deserve it. At least that’s what I wanna say to “the computer said” people.

That was a beautiful read, cheers!

We have a table with literally three columns. One is an id, another a filename and a third a path. Guess which one was picked as the primary key?

Never seen something so stupid in 28 years of computing. Including my studies.

Hahaha! We’ve an “architect” who insists he needs to be the owner on the gitlab. My colleague has been telling him to fuck off for the entire week. It reached the point that fool actually complained to our common boss… The guy is so used to working as a start-up and has no fucking clue about proper procedures. It’s terrifying that he could be in charge of anything, really.

Holy shit in so glad it’s not just me. All I have ever seen from Java seems to be NullPointerException. (Which makes sense, but still, it’s pretty funny)

“Tester, c’est douter”

Doesn’t sound too weird to me. In my experience, devs always focus too much on positive / correct inputs, as they want things to work. Which is why you need testers that will catch all the weird crazy ways people can break things. Testers shouldn’t even see the code of it can’t handle nominal cases.

Thank you kindly for the link. I’ll have to see what this brings to the table, but it’s always nice to have options!

I left Monday last week after a crash had occurred in prod. Had happened during the weekend because of a colleague fumbling on the Friday. Noticed it Monday morning. Notified the boss who didn’t care much and left for his afternoon off anyway, trusting me to do what i could. Which I did. Stabilised the bleeding, explained others what they had done and what to do, how to mitigate, how to temporise till I was back, then fucked off at 5pm sharp, for one of the best romantic weeks in years. Not a one phone call or message. I had even taken my laptop just in case they were really stuck. Nothing.

Vive la France 🇫🇷 is what I’m saying.

It’s wonderful for you that you live in a world where people use something else than Outlook to read email at work.

The alternative is not super exciting though. My experience with NoSQL has been pretty shit so far. Might change this year as the company I’m at has a perfect case for migrating to NoSQL but I’ve been waiting for over a year for things to move forward…

Also, I had a few cases where storing JSON was super appropriate : we had a form and we wanted to store the answers. It made no sense to create tables and shit, since the form itself could change over time! Having JSON was an elegant way to store the answers. Being able to actually query the JSON via Oracle SQL was like dark magic, and my instincts were all screaming at the obvious trap, but I was rather impressed by the ability.

Emails are surprisingly hard to format, actually. If you want to use modern HTML, anyway.

That’s because you didn’t try our lord and savior SASS. Vanilla CSS should be illegal at this stage.

JsonSchema is a way to validate some JSON. A great thing when you want to stop any sort of malformed data from coming in. Instead of wrecking your head in your code testing whether this bit here is not null, or is that string a valid boolean (I still remember that shitty piece of code they had, ugh!) or that bit is empty or that one is an actual number, or a string that can only have such and such value, well, you can formalise all this in one place, as a data file instead of code. Very convenient.

Except when it turns out you’re using a JSON library that’s not one, not two, but six major versions behind, and the security department won’t greenlight you using anything recent because… fuck you, that’s why. And to add insult to injury, we were the Quality department. Responsible for analysing the code quality of thousands of coders, around a hundred thousand programs (mostly COBOL but also C#), of a European banking group… The JSON schema was for adding a layer of non existant security to our API. But no, let’s keep accepting shitty malformed JSON (because of course we kept receiving shitty JSON; that’s why we wanted to implement this)

So I had to rewrite a lot of custom code to patch the bugs we found in the library, and none of the nifty tools that let you put in json and generate json schema would work for us. Heck, they even have JsonSchema to validate your JsonSchema but those wouldn’t work either, so far behind our version was.

Fucking awesome experience. I’m glad it’s behind me.

I feel this in my bones. As an OG dev, I had this incredible urge to smack people when I was working for my last job and I saw the API specs with everything being sent as strings through JSON. Boolean? Sure, let’s use a string. Integers? Sure we’ll do conversion in our code, that’ll be more efficient… So fucking infuriating. Oh and don’t get me started on JsonSchema T_T

“Hello IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?” pause “Is it plugged in?” pause “You’re welcome”

For most devs, it’s a Jenga tower. Only fancy algorithm devs get a nice Hanoi towers setup.

For some reason it reminds me of When Sysadmins Ruled The Earth, a short story about sysadmins dealing with the apocalypse.