I’m not going to down vote you lol, I haven’t down voted anyone in this thread. There is no wrong answer or response. I do feel bad for her though, pencils are sharp even when unsharpened, I can’t imagine that felt good. Did she wrap it in a condom? How old was she?
Girl same, it took me a couple of guys and years before I had an orgasm. Luckily my current partner is very patient with me and I hope you find someone like that too. I feel like a lot of maybe younger or inexperienced guys just jackhammer a girl and then they’re done ugh. Sorry for misunderstanding you earlier, looks like we had much more in common than I thought! Judging by the down votes it looks like I said something offensive, and I just wanted to say sorry about that. This is just my experience.
I think I did ask about that and since she doesn’t have trouble inserting the speculum she said I didn’t have it. I use menstrual cups with lube just fine, although I do use a cup on the softer side.
You’re probably right, I never used lube with tampons but if I did it might not have hurt so bad. I did feel it was less tight putting them in once my virginity was gone but it still felt like tearing using them so maybe that was just me. Just now I tried searching but all I got was tampons don’t take your virginity which I already knew and was not trying to imply. I use cups now with lube and it is much better than tampons for me.
Edit:
Will tampons hurt with endometriosis?
They can, but the tampon pain associated with endometriosis tends to be similar to endometriosis dyspareunia, a term used to describe pain during sex. With endometriosis, a tampon can cause a heavy pain felt deep in the abdomen, or cramping.
Sometimes the tampon pain related to endometriosis also can cause your vaginal muscles to tense, causing a sharp pain at the entrance of the vagina when inserting or removing a tampon.
TINA tip: If you have endometriosis, speak with your doctor about which options for managing your period might be most comfortable. Speak up about how you’re feeling so your doctor can help you determine which type of pain relief options might work for you.
TIL I may have had endometriosis this whole time. I was wondering how I was using tampons wrong when I have heavy flows that need tampon+pad to manage.
https://www.tinahealthcare.com/blogs/learn/tampons-cause-pain-or-discomfort
It feels like nothing but rubbing for me? Idk. But I definitely recommend the book. I’m not saying those 80% hate penetration, but it isn’t a big part. I know when I talked to my gyno about painful sex, she said use plenty of lube and orgasm before penetration. Very good advice in case anyone needs it.
I’m glad you found relief from the religious oppression. We need less shaming and better sex ed for everyone. Thanks for your wishes, I wish you the same!
Understandable. I was never into penetration and thought I was weird but after talking to more women and then reading Come As You Are, it clicked that I was actually normal and in the majority (80% are like me). Not that being in the minority is weird, if you read the book you’ll find that is actually normal too. I hate masturbation or sex without a vibrator lol. I never felt safe talking to my parents either, they were super religious and invaded my privacy regularly. I was an adult before getting toys, and everything sex related sucked before them.
I agree parents should talk with their kids, I never meant to allude to that. But I disagree that penetration doesn’t feel bad, for me it feels painful without lube and with lube it feels not painful but never enjoyable. Vibrators are the only thing that feels good, that much is universal among the women I’ve talked to.
Most teens don’t want to put anything up there because it hurts, even tampons hurt as a virgin especially with 0 lube. I never liked regular dildos, most women do not orgasm through penetration. So I would say they are messing with you. I’ve had guys ask me if I ever experimented with pencils or rulers because if they were a girl they would do it. No, wtf only guys think women are like this.
Admittedly I only read one mod post by you, the sticky. If the other ones are also important you can sticky more than two posts, which was the limit on reddit.
Being a mod sucks, I used to mod and I feel better now that I’ve abandoned it because I am just not suited for it. I’m sure everyone here appreciates your work into the community. I hated being the only person posting and some of my posts would get downvoted which was confusing. At least people are commenting, I didn’t even get that hah. I don’t mean my previous post to be an attack on your moderating, it’s a thankless job and you should have rules you feel is right as long as the community goes along with it I don’t see a reason to change. You’re not supposed to personally attack or insult people on your instance so it makes sense that is a rule.
I checked lemmy.world’s code of conduct and the official citizen code of conduct linked on the join-lemmy page that’s here. This is probably where we disagree about what is doxxing and why when I checked there wasn’t an actual rule for censoring usernames. If someone posts something with their real name and any other personal real info, they have doxxed themselves and I don’t think posting their name at that point is doxxing. This includes public figures too (reddit required you censor even the usernames of public figures and have banned people for posting a congress person’s Twitter handle even though their own rules are supposed to not apply to public figures, ban appeals denied). I’m not saying to post their personal address or phone number, but just the username/handle is fine because they have already provided that information. If their username is redbaron, and they haven’t posted their real name, then it is doxxing to post their real name in that case. I also don’t think censoring a username will stop someone from finding it especially if they want to do some malicious thing, I think that is wishful thinking at that point.
But all I was saying was that censoring usernames is/was not an actual rule in lemmy or lemmy.world or this community at the time. If you think that since this sub is for mocking people that you want to censor it so hopefully people don’t find the subject person to harass them then I guess it makes sense, I can see the logic. I do like the idea of holding a vote that everyone can see (I outlined why the ratio on my comment isn’t representative of the whole community). But I know it is a lot of work on one person and I am the wrong person to even bring this up, I was thinking of not commenting in this community again because the reddit hive mind is already here and I’ve also made things worse for you when you want actual contributors and mods and not people nitpicking a rule. I don’t think you are a bad guy, I’m sorry if my comments had a bad tone to them because that was not my intention.
I’ve been downvoted for saying facts just like I did with my previous comment here so I wouldn’t read into it as this is what the community for sure wants. I checked the rules and it was not there so I commented that, it’s not an opinion but people get triggered all the same because they are used to reddit’s rules and assume lemmy is like reddit. But it is not, the different instances have their different rules and communities have rules on top of that. If you want to change the rules that’s up to you. Generally a vote might be nice, one that everyone can see and it isn’t hidden in this comment chain (the OP of this chain is already hidden by downvotes) and isn’t determined by only 20 people. Personally, it’s a waste of time because you can easily lookup the tweet and find the person. But if people want it to be this way because they think it “helps”, I guess that’s how it will be. But at least the community will have a voice even if it is something I feel is a waste. I feel more irritated by the constant censoring of “bad words” and don’t care so much about the usernames, after all it can be easily looked up if you want. I wouldn’t downvote a post over it like OP said but I can see where the frustration comes from, how corporations want to sanitize the internet. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling.
I double checked the rules of this community and it doesn’t say anything about having to censor identity info, that was a reddit rule that you had to censor Twitter handles, usernames, and such.
I mostly drink water and tea so soda now feels too icky to drink but that hasn’t stopped me from enjoying other desserts. I don’t see myself giving that up lol I love it too much. If it works for you, then kudos to you. I just can’t dedicate myself to it. Especially not an entire year. I hope you don’t think I am putting you down or anything, if it works for you then you should stick to it.
That’s not the definition of intuitive eating, at least I’m pretty sure it isn’t. I look at the serving size of whatever I am eating on its packaging label, weigh it, log it, and eat it. I only eat that predetermined amount the manufacturer came up with. I don’t say maybe I’ll eat double this amount or half because my body feels differently that day. I eat the exact same thing of something every time I eat it. I stop eating when I’ve met my calorie count, not when my body feels sated. That’s calorie counting. As long as I eat throughout the day, I don’t feel much hunger. I’m pretty sure I have a slow metabolism and eating whatever I want in smaller portions has been working for me.
Yeah that doesn’t work for me, I actually enjoy eating food so eating “intuitively” makes me eat too much. That was a common complaint on r/CICO that eating intuitively made people regain their lost weight. There is a reason why people like me got fat in the first place lmao. Over-eating tasty food.
Once I learned what actual serving sizes are supposed to look like it got much more easy. It’s not stressful to count calories, I found it immensely stressful when I thought I was eating healthy low calorie meals but when I counted the calories using an actual scale I was actually over-eating and hated every second of it since I still felt hungry all day and the food tasted bad. Now I eat whatever I want or crave, including cheesecake, ice cream, burritos, spaghetti, burgers, and pizza. I’m not on a diet, I just adjust my portions. Once you get the hang of it, you can visually confirm you are eating too much or too little. This is how I like eating, nothing is off limits and very easy to tap a few times on my phone. My cheat day is everyday and I still lose weight. If I ever crave fish eyeballs, you can safely shoot me in the head lol.
It isn’t too hard to lose weight if that is your main goal, it just takes time. You don’t have to give up food that tastes good or that you love. Just eat under your TDEE and you’ll lose weight. Every meal can be a cheat meal. A food scale and counting calories are the only things you need. I’ve lost 30 pounds so far without doing any exercise and have lost 6 inches off my waist. There was a whole sub dedicated to it called r/CICO. I only need to lose 20 more pounds until my goal weight. I don’t eat food I don’t enjoy, that would be like torture to me.
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