None of us is as stupid as all of us.

The Big Lebowski is my favorite

The largest age gap I’ve been involved with was about 4 years. I was 31, she was 35, and we lasted about three months. Current partner and I are about 1.5 years apart.

If I were single and interested in dating, I think the lowest age I’d be willing to go is half my age plus 7. Someone at the absolute lowest end of that range would need to check a lot of other boxes for me to be willing. Most I’d be willing to go over my age is about 10 years.

But frankly, if I were single, I’d probably just stop the online dating thing and live my best life on my own, and if I met someone who was interested cool, and if not it ain’t the end of the world.

Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”

I used to rent dvds from them regularly. Then one day I rented a dvd, got home, and discovered that someone had photocopied the barcode, put it on a blanc disc, returned that, and kept the dvd for themselves. While redbox customer service was able to refund my money, I stopped renting through them before too much longer.

What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not. Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. “Asian-American” please.

• Walter Sobchak

I never had a Fark account but I remember following them religiously. I remember something about them crowdfunding an arena name for a day about an unsolicited finger in the ass.

Dick pics: disapproving Drake

Duck pics: approving Drake

I spent several years within listening range of KLBJ-FM and also adore SRV.