

Initiator Target mode and Host Bus Adapter mode are interchangable terms for the same thing. The card has 2 modes, one is RAID (don’t use this) and the other is Initiator-Target or HBA mode.
ZFS needs direct disk access so flash the IT .bin for HBA mode using the P20 (latest) drivers and you’re g2g.
Seconding this. He sounds smart enough to understand “Hey, I need a few minutes, but I still want to talk”.
Raising our kids, we never used reasons like “because I said so”, we always explained why we made the decisions we did, so our children learned reasoning and understanding as they grew. Kids are generally quick to learn, and can understand most situations if explained plainly. Talk to them with clarity and respect and you’ll be surprised at the response you get.