It’s been a while since I heard it, but Dave Chapelle has a foutine about this. It’s a guy who saves women from a burning building who otherwise would have died…but then he rapes some of them.

The whole punchline is “He rapes, but he saves”

I’m not doing it justice here, but it did get me thinking about morality when I first heard it.

Or maybe these people don’t say it to your face, but still believe it.

You can’t yada yada yada sex! That’s the best part! People come for that part of the story! That part of the story is what people came to hear.

licks your Switch 2

Me fail english? Thats unpossible!

Wait until you FINALLY get the concept across, and he understsnds, and THEN he hears the song “It’s raining men”.

Then he’ll REALLY be confused!

Don’t buy a tv. Buy a “monitor”. Add your own external tv tuner box, and other smart sticks externally. At that point your “tv” is just a display.

Yes, it costs more, but you’re not paying with your data.

Tip number 1 - Don’t buy them.

Weird that you feel the need to specify that the pilot be human.

What do you know that we don’t?

Please don’t diminish the word “fascist”. We have plenty of actual fascists in governments of multiple countries all around the world. We have a real problem right now.

If everything is fascist, then nothing is fascist. It’s the boy who cried wolf. And it gives freedom to actual fascists to continue being fascists. Because if you call them out on it, they brush it off like “Oh you people say EVERYTHING is fascist these days!”

And the problem gets worse.

Orrrrrrrr, and hear me out…

We thin the herd. We sell products that if you spend any time paying attention, you know NOT to buy.

“Delicious home baked cyanide cookies! Just like grandma used to bake! That one time…”

And then? If you eat those cookies, that’s on you.

Although, this bakery would have an uphill battle maintaining a regular customer base.

Leaving critical thinking up to the masses??? Oh…oh no.

In the 90s they linked hot dogs to cancer.

But EVERYTHING is linked to cancer.

But also everybody is getting cancer.

Oddly enough, so is horse dick!

Now, anyways.

It wasn’t always the case. It took a porn star dying after porn makers in the 2000s forced a horse to rape a woman (yes, I typed that right), and film it. The practice had been going on since the 70s, but now a woman died. So lawmakers got together and said “Ya know what? No more sleeping with horses. I don’t think anyone will argue that proposed law, and I can use it on the campaign trail next election!”

And so it was. No more horse fucking porn.

And I guess the meat is also illegal. I’m sure there’s a story there too.

Kinder eggs should NOT be banned, and Americans have an inferior product because of it.

…but also I agree with the banning of Red dye #3.

Amonia and bleach don’t make meth. It makes mustard gas.

As for what the police will think if they search your moms house, you’re thinking about this from the wrong perspective.

The cops are never there in good faith. The cops are never there to get to the bottom of the real story. The cops are not an element of justice. We don’t have a justice system. We have a legal system. If the cops are already searching your place, they don’t give a shit about your intentions, your behavior, your motivation, or your innocence. They already made up their mind long before they showed up.

It doesn’t matter what they think. They’ll plant evidence if they find none. They are not above being dirty cops.

If they’re already searching your house, it’s too late.

See…this is why you’re having trouble finding dates. Women love a man who has his shit together, and has multiple hampster wheels!

See, what you do is, step 1, buy a mansion. With a huge basement.

Step 2, install several cages in that basement. Full iron bar.

Step 3, hire ninjas to use sleeping darts on her to knock her out.

Step 4, imprison her naked in one of your many basement cells. Each of these cells has a human sized hampster wheel. She now has to run on this hampster wheel all day. Doing so produces electricity, which powers your house.

Step 5, repeat steps 3-4 until all the cells are filled with more naked slaves!

Step 6, install webcams and start a business called “WeRunOnHampsterWheels.com”. Create a new fetish based on bouncy boobs running on a hampster wheel, which you now have a temporary monopoly on, and a head start, and an unfair advantage in being able to create live content 24/7 for free.

Never once show your face in this house. Ever.

Step 7, after years of hampster wheel slavery, you “break into” the mansion, and find this woman you used to know who hasn’t been seen in like 15 years.

Step 8, tell her you COULD get the key hanging on the wall, and set her free…but you only want to see her in a dating sense.

She’ll be so thsnkful that she’ll agree to anything.

Checkmate!

Ehhhh…grubhub isn’t THAT fast!

…you got some marijuana for me?